I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
