Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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