i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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