I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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