Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
