Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
