Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
