This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need to calm my uterus...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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