dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize