kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
