just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize