wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
