Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
