wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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