do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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