when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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