How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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