i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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