i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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