How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
