You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can text with my tongue
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
