He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
