Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
