she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
