I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
