Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Mom said you looked used
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
