im about as happy as oj after his trial
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
