man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
