i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
