Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
