handjob tips. give me some.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
