Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
