Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
