Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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