Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
