he wants to bone in the snuggie
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
