The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
