What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
