just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
