Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
