I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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