I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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