this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
