Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
