I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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