Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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