Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize