I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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