I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
