The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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