You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
