How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
