New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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