Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
