I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So many bounce houses so little time
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
