tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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