The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
