I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
